Tone it down, Malaysia.

The guide to performing in Malaysia:

- No jumping and shouting or throwing objects on stage or at audience - No jumping? What constitutes jumping? When both feet leave the ground? What about skipping, running or hopping? What's wrong with jumping anyway?

Shouting? Rock concerts are by definition, shouting. Does that mean that all those local rock groups will need to start singing at a "conversational" tone?

- No hugging or kissing the audience or fellow artistes - Fair enough if they are swapping bodily fluids or groping one another, but I sure hope it doesn't include a peck on the cheek or a friendly hug which usually happens when artistes greet each other on stage.

- No unnecessary baring of skin. Female artistes need to cover from the top of her chest to her knees - Now... what's constitutes unnecessary? If we follow the words of the guideline, a catsuit or leotard will be compliant. Further guidelines forthcoming on body-hugging or close-fitting clothes?

- Clothes should not have obscene or drug related messages - Can't be bothered about this one.

In other words, no stage acts with "Western" influences.