Monday, September 24, 2007

Our Malaysian Astrocannot.

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Update 4 Oct 07: Astrocannot is also Cosmocannot
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According to The Star, Dr Sheikh Muszaphar is our astronaut. According to Malaysiakini, he's a part-time model AND astronaut.

According to NASA however, he's neither Astronaut, nor Cosmonaut (ie. Russki ler)... but get this... he's a "Spaceflight Participant". In NASA-speak... that basically means baggage. The kind a space crew needs as much as you'd need a pair of testicles growing out of your forehead.

The Expedition 16 crew members pose for a portrait at the Johnson Space Center. From the left (front row) are Russia’s Federal Space Agency cosmonaut Yuri Malenchenko, flight engineer and Soyuz commander; astronaut Peggy Whitson, commander; and Malaysian spaceflight participant Sheikh Muzhaphar Shukor. From the left (back row) are European Space Agency (ESA) astronaut LĂ©opold Eyharts, astronaut Garrett Reisman and astronaut Dan Tani, all flight engineers.
And the website also has short descriptions of what each person will be doing on the mission:

Some samples...
Commander Peggy A. Whitson - Whitson is the commander for Expedition 16. This is her second tour of duty aboard the station. She also was a flight engineer and science officer for Expedition 5 in 2002. Whitson also worked underwater as a NEEMO 5 crew member in 2003. + Biography

Flight Engineer Daniel M. Tani - Tani will fly to the station aboard space shuttle Discovery on STS-120 and join Expedition 16 as a flight engineer. He will return home aboard space shuttle Atlantis on mission STS-122. + Biography
Eveyone's either a flight engineer or the commander. But what will our jaguh kampung will be doing?...
Spaceflight Participant Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor - Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor will launch with Expedition 16 and land with Expedition 15. + [no Biography linked].
Ahem... that's as concise as it gets... he go up, waste some oxygen, and he come down. And THAT folks is what our tax-payer millions is paying for. Wasteful and grossly misplaced national pride. Well... that and a live test on the trajectory of ejaculate when one masturbates in space. Because judging from the amount of respect our 'space flight participant' is getting from NASA, wanking will be about all he's allowed to do.

Also read how I insulted our space flight participant earlier on Outer Space - The Final Frontier for Malaysia Bodoh... oops Boleh.

26 comments:

Harcharan said...

ROTFL

Anonymous said...

Ouch! Lol.

Well, that was a predictable choice. I didn't realize that they've finalised our first astro-nut. Honestly, friendly competition and all - it was still a predictable race. Why naturally, pretty boy with Colgate smile is the one to go, innit? That ought to suffice for his + Biography. No offense to his occupation as a doctor, of course. But one still can't help feel cynical at the outcome.

Anonymous said...

With his experience after this flight, maybe he can teach some of our would be spaceflight participant to fly.....kites!

Anonymous said...

"With the rise of space tourism, NASA and the Russian Federal Space Agency agreed to use the term "spaceflight participant" to distinguish those space travelers from astronauts on missions coordinated by those two agencies." - Wikipedia

Ed said...

guess he'll be pulling some teas to serve his fellow colleagues onboard to kill time, eh? LOL

anyway, it's a "free" trip what, according to our highly trustworthy deputy PM.

Anonymous said...

Malaysia boleh! millions bucks draining into the longkang again, sad.

seantang said...

Another One?!

On Kapt Dr Faiz, the secondary candidate, the minister [Science, Technology and Innovation Minister Jamaluddin Jarjis] said it would be interesting to get feedback from the public, adding if their views were positive, it was possible that he too would get the opportunity to go to space in a future mission.

“If Malaysians want him to be sent to space too, I will raise the matter up with the Cabinet. He is after all, ready and able.

He added that the cost of sending the second Malaysian astronaut was estimated to be US$30mil (RM102mil).


Here some 'interesting feedback' for you.

NO! F*ck NO! No more losers in space. I'm sure we can find a much better use for USD30million?! Like revamping the judiciary and/or the police force?

Which part of N-O don't you understand, Mr Minister?

Anonymous said...

Commander Peggy " go make us some tea -tarik , muzahfar"

ok ma'am...... one teh tarik comming up


send tea boy into space to make roti canai and teh tarik

Anonymous said...

Why $30 Million USD for sending another "spaceflight participant"? according to wikipedia and all records at NASA site, other spaceflight participants paid only USD 20 Million!!!!

any guess where the other USD 10 Million going to? and thats MYR 38 Million!!!!!! times 2 if you consider BOTH the spaceflight participants..... = MYR 76 Million into somebody's pockets....

Ann Kok said...

Well when he comes back he is supposed to spearhead Malaysia Space program !!! Malaysia Boleh !!! or Malaysia BODOH?

Ed said...

Is he gonna puasa in space? I guess he will, since a space tourist will have nothing much to do anyway.

seantang said...

Ed

Apparently there's no need to puasa in space, according to the religious authorities.

Anonymous said...

Recently, the Science & Technology Minister said that Malaysia would probably send a Malaysian to the moon soon.

Why not send Pak Lah up?

All you need is tax-payers money and a willing Malaysian space-tourist to be a 'spaceflight participant' to go to the moon.

Later, we can boast to the world that we are the only country to have a PM who is also a qualified 'astronaut'.

"Malaysia Boleh"

seantang said...

Send Pak Lah to the moon... good idea ;) I propose that we only pay USD 15 million, instead of 30, for a one way trip.

Zhenhao said...

Space tourism is the recent phenomenon of individuals paying for space travel, primarily for personal satisfaction.

As of 2007, space tourism opportunities are limited and expensive, with only the Russian Space Agency providing transport. The price for a flight brokered by Space Adventures to the International Space Station aboard a Soyuz spacecraft is now $30 million. Flights are fully booked until 2009
Souece: WIKIPEDIA

At least JJ was telling the truth, we spent US 30 Million to sponsor a space tourist...

Anonymous said...

Send all the Bumiputras to outer space and don't come back! Malaysia Boleh!

Anonymous said...

Why only send Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor to space? If all the Bumiputras are sent there with the finance of all Malaysians, there will be no such thing as the NEP,racial conflicts, issues of Islamic state, etc, there will be peace in the country and everyone will be treated equally and be prosperous. There will be no issues of racial strife!

seantang said...

Anonymous

You do realise that the same will result from sending all the non-Malays to space as well, no?

So, no. The point is not to get rid of one race or another. It's to be able to live together. And that can only happen if the playing field was level. It was skewed towards the non-Malays 50 years ago. Now it's gone all the way to the opposite side.

The trick is getting it to the middle and keeping it there. The only way is absolute equality in all matters and absolute adherence to civil law which is NOT contaminated by any religion.

Anonymous said...

The ultimate 'melawat sambil belajar' junket.

Anonymous said...

Orang Malaysia dah nak sampai ke langit, you all masih lagi jadi katak yang berfikiran negatif bawah tempurung.

open up your mind dude!

sean-the-man said...

anonymous

Which part of "misplaced national pride" don't you understand?

Apa hebatnya kalau orang Malaysia sampai langit? (kebetulannya, angkasa lepas lah beb, bukan langit).

Bukan kerana dia berkemampuan ataupun NASA / ROSCOSMOS memerlukan kecekapannya. Tapi kerajaan sanggup membayar duit tiketnya sebanyak RM95 juta.

Tak tau malu ke membazir duit rakyat menjadi Space Tourist? Diam-diam pun takpe lah, tapi buat kecoh sekampung.

Kerana tak tau beza space tourist dengan astronaut, you ingat tu maknanya open minded or berfikiran positif?

Please lah. If you want to do something great... do it right and do it well.

Anonymous said...

Sean,

Kebetulannya? Hahaha.. better check your dictionary dude.

But I strongly agree that being a space tourist is a waste of money as he himself is not academically qualified to become an astronaut.

If you guys want to know where I'm coming from, check out these URLS:

http://people.howstuffworks.com/question534.htm

http://www.nasa.gov/audience/forstudents/postsecondary/features/F_Astronaut_Requirements.html


Before you guys start bashing me and says that these are requirements for NASA and not general public, these serves as a guideline and who else is better about these stuff except for NASA (besides Roscosmos)

So, if the Government really give it a though about this, they should have at least sent someone who is academically qualified.

That's my 2cents worth

Anonymous said...

I remember reading that the space tourists on Russian flights are not allowed into the US side of the ISS. If I am right, they can peep through the doorway to say hello the first time they arrived but after that they cannot go to the US side. I guess they don't want these tourists to accidentally hitting switches here and there! I think that since they cannot operate anything on the ISS, basically the "space flight participants" would just stay in one corner and stay out of the way of the other cosmonauts or astronauts. Don't think for a moment that he can take out his stuffs and start doing laboratory experiments like on Earth. Any items brought to space have to follow very strict restrictions to make sure you don't carry diseases. The package of experiments cannot be opened to contaminate the station. So, no opening out a flask and do teh tarik! He can throw a switch or pull/close a lever on the enclosed package. If Malaysia really wants to do real science, they can just pay the Russians or Americans to carry the package there and do the same simple function of throwing on a switch or pulling/closing a lever to start a process, etc., without the cost of sending a Malaysian. It is not the science they are interested in, it is just eksyen saja.

sean-the-man said...

Heheh.. kebetulannya should actually be sebenarnya.

I knew it sounded funny, but too late, press post already and blogger doesn't me edit my own comments.

It's been a long time since SPM, man. Tolong forgivekan I lah.

Anonymous said...

we spend us30million for space tour,but dowm here 2policemen was short dead,igp said the police force need fund to buy bullet proof jacket,so why spend usd30million on space trip why not buy bullet proof jacket for our policemen at least can save the life of our policemen

Anonymous said...

huh lol well in the new's it was said that rm18 billion was spent on the space program....i really really think we need new leaders in malaysia coz our current leader is not doing his job well and making wrong decisions